It's that special, SPECIAL time of year where I write a super-long, totally navel gazing birthday post!
So hold onto your butts, kids, here we go.
For past birthdays, I've written about minor meltdowns and how I had to make my own damn birthday cake because nobody would fucking make me a birthday cake and HAVE I MENTIONED MY FAVORITE PART OF MY BIRTHDAY IS THE CAKE!?!?
But this year, not so much.
Because this year, I'm different.
Last year, I was on the tail end of a four year relationship, somewhat blindly ensconsed in a routine of the same old friends and routines, while quietly thinking...
"Something's wrong. This isn't it."
A month later, my relationship was over, and life was about to change. A lot. New connections, new friends, new opportunities.
I didn't always do it right. There were times I failed, and had to make apologies later. Or times I hooked up with the wrong guy, or the ex, or just did stupid things in general.
Come May, a bunch of poor decisions snowballed and I crashed, pretty hard. Boomsauce. That's what you get for not demanding the best for yourself, Sarah.
But life has a funny way of righting itself. My crash was the beginning of removing the last little bits of dead weight from my life. I stopped hooking up with the ex, tapped into fulfilling friendships, gave up those stupid unrequited crushes that robbed me of my joy and "nowness" and started trusting a little bit harder in this brain of mine.
Since then? Life has been...insane, but in the coolest way possible. I'll be co-hosting a TV show, launching this fall. I local consultant has entrusted me with (almost) more contract freelance work than I can handle. I'm helping dudes cultivate awesome online dating profiles (and seeing them find love in return).
I'm finding hidden guts deep in this Virgo being of mine...and it's awesome to see what people will do if you just have the lady-balls to ask.
"But, TNR," you might be asking. "What about boys? Isn't this site about, like, boning and unicorns and shit?"
And lo, I say unto you, sure, this site is about boning and unicorns...but it's mostly about being the right kind of person to get the right kind of boning and the right kind of unicorns.
I can honestly say, that at this point in my life, I am in that comfortable cradle of not caring. I'm so, so happy with my friendships, my work, and yes, even with being single (this is the longest I've been single since I was 19. Wut.)
I've figured out that it is going to have to be a very special kind o' dude that can put up with old TNR.
Not only is he going to have to get my crazy busy life, he's going to have to not be intimidated by, well, me. He's gotta be ambitious and sure of himself and ready to face life full-on. I want (need?) someone I can respect, and who won't let me take over his life (and I'm a tad pushy...so yeah).
He's gotta be able to stand up for himself, and he probably should find me to be hilarious.
This isn't some weird pros and cons list of what I'm looking for. I'm not actually even looking (mostly because, in some way, I'm afraid he doesn't exist), and I'm not overly concerned about being coupled up.
And while, yes, you all know I'm a big fan of the boning, I guess I'm just okay without it if it's not attached to the right penis.
Haha, there it is.
Anyway, that's just a few thoughts on my birthday. I'm happy, content, creatively fulfilled. I definitely can't complain.
Thanks for joining me for another year, friends.