Top Ten Infallible Dating Truths for Single People

I know a thing or two about getting around...


...and one thing I’ve observed in my journey is that many single people seem to complain, or feel sad, or get confused about the same things over and over.

Well, I’m here to help.  There are certain things that you can know as a single person that will really put your heart and mind at ease.  For example, the first time I ever read, “He’s Just Not That Into You,” I cried tears of joy, because I got to move on from the loser who really, really didn’t care for me.  It was incredibly freeing to know that IT WASN’T ME. 

Anyway, here are 10 Infallible Dating Truths for Single People, Part One.  (Heh heh, tricky!) 

1.  He Knows How to Contact You—No really.  He knows.  Between Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and I dunno, the whole damn internet, him not having your number is no reason for you to be like, “Oh!  Maybe I should just casually mention that my number rhymes with Live Live Done-Sticks Mine Bait You!”  And if he REALLY wants to contact you?  He will. 

I recently talked to a girl who is newly dating a guy who FOUND her on Facebook.  They had met at a show one night, and he was a friend of a friend of a friend.  They had a great conversation, but no numbers were exchanged.  Two days later, she was surprised to find a message from him on Facebook, after he had traced her through his friend's, friend's, friend.  Cute. 

(Just FYI, if he hasn’t contacted you, he probably doesn't want to.  And guess what...that’s okay!  You’re awesome anyway.)

2.  “If you don’t feel it, don’t force it.” (via Twitter @jswesner)—He or she might be the cutest ever.  You might have a shit-ton in common.  Your parents might be friends from way back, but really, if you’re into the second date and you’re like, “Meh?” move along.  You’ll spare each other a bunch of trouble in the future.  (See:  A Mighty Roar)

There was a guy I knew growing up that my parents insisted I marry.  Well, okay, it wasn’t quite that bad (but close) and truth be told, he was quite a catch.  He was really sweet, kind, smart, and went to one of the top schools in the nation for an obscurely awesome degree.  But, you know?  As hard as I tried, it just wasn’t there.  Any girl would have been proud to be with him, but I never felt it.  That’s just life. 

3.  Always Have Enough Cash for a Cab (aka NEVER, EVER let a guy you don’t know pick you up for a date) (via Twitter @twixlen)  When @twixlen mentioned this truth on Twitter, I was like “PREACH.”  I never let a guy I don’t know pick me up at my house or drive me anywhere until I feel a) a greater sense of trust with him or b) let my friends know where I will be.  It’s not that I assume that all dudes are creepy rapists, it’s that I need to be able to GO when I feel it’s time to go. 

I had a very dear friend who once made the mistake of allowing some new dude pick her up.  Instead of having a lovely evening with a new guy (upon the closing of which, she got to get in her car and go), she ended up at a weird, seedy bar on campus with the new guy and a bunch of his friends, doing awkward karaoke, with no plausible way of getting home.  Always drive your own car on the first date.  Always.

4.  Trying to improve your odds by going to a specialty dating service will just give you more of the same dating disasters. (via Twitter @heatherfidler) I think Match, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony and all those sites and services work for people, but remember that the pool on those sites is no different than the pool of people you’d meet in real life.  In fact, I’d venture to say there are WAY more creepers on dating sites because, in general, being a creeper behind a computer screen is easier than being a creeper in public.  I love this truth because it speaks to a basic principle of dating:  be the right kind of person, and you’ll find the right kind of person, no matter where you are.

5.  Never let some dude/lady hold you back from who you need to be.  Can I make a confession?  We Virgos like to “fix” people, and I often find that I get so busy trying to care for and fix someone that I forget that I have stuff I gotta do and be.  I think it’s all well and good to help people out, but make sure you’re checking in with yourself to make sure you’re being the kind of person you need to be both within and without a relationship.

Tomorrow...Part Two of the Top Ten Infallible Dating Truths for Single People.