Three Musings on Divorce

Lately, I've been getting a lot of emails, Facebook messages and backlinks to my writing on divorce and I have a few things to say.

First, thank you.

The reason I wrote about divorce in the first place was because I felt like if I could wring some positivity out of a pretty shitty experience, that'd be cool. So, thank you to everyone who has shared my stuff, or has sent me a note to say that it's helpful, 'cause that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Second, I'm getting far enough out from my divorce now that I've almost (almost) forgetten that I was married.

I mean, I know I was. I know that I am a "woman with a past" and there were a few years there that the thought of marriage as an institution kind of sickened me. 

But now that it seems like that option might be feasible again. 

Not, like, this instant, you know, with not having a significant other and all. But like, POTENTIALLY. In the future. With a person. Who would also maybe like to consider that with me.

All that to say, for those of you who have been divorced or are going through a divorce, if you're willing to dig deep and do the work you need to do, your divorce can be an instrument to shape you into the kind of person who wants to do it all again. Crazy times.

Third, this is weird to admit, but...I am glad I went through all of that.

I'm glad I had the courage to leave, even when I knew shit would hit the fan with my family (and it did).

I'm glad I had the courage to be kind to my ex, even when we really, really didn't like each other for awhile.

I'm glad I got a crash course in what it means to grieve and be raw and broken and to feel, and then to channel all that energy creatively.

I'm glad I learned that you can rebuild a family with people who are not your blood relatives.

And I'm glad that I got to see some of the best in myself, my ex, and some of our friends who didn't choose sides, but loved us both through that time. 

Anyway, you all will be okay. You will survive. You'll get to the point where you're healed and the scars aren't quite so noticable and you don't want to vomit at the thought of doing it all over.

And one day, you'll breathe sweetly and easily again. Promise.

divorce photo