But I have a confession to make...on the outside I might appear to be a strong woman, but inside, I'm just a scared little girl.
No really, it sounds awfully cliche' but I'm generally afraid of a lot of things. I'm scared to make big decisions because I can just SEE how they'll affect me in the future. I'm scared to explore new places by myself, because I'll surely be raped and mugged. Oh yeah, and about those decisions? Once I make them, I'm afraid they will have been the wrong ones to make. (On the flip side, I am not at all afraid of things that many other people are afraid of, like speaking in public and being an idiot performing in front of live crowds, both of which I find incredibly exhilarating and fun. Weird.)
To be honest, I've never been one to jump right into a cold pool (getting my belly wet? Since I'm pretty sure I was a cat in my past life, no thanks), or to leave and go somewhere on a whim. I've literally had talks with myself where I'm driving toward something unknown and new and I'm like, "You can do this. You still have the option to turn around if you want, but you can keep going. You're almost there! Do you really want to to turn around now that you're ALMOST there? Hm, HMMM?"
Usually, I'm okay after my pep talks and I move on with my life, but man, there are times I feel like I really compromise on either
a) the things that I truly want or
b) the things that are truly good for me (even though "good" might be equal to "hurty" or "not easy")
because I don't have the lady balls to, er, woman up and just do the things I'm supposed to.
I'm sure what I'm talking about is really just my inner critic. But maybe not?
Anyone else feel like I do at times? Is it a weird Virgo personality thing, or is it actually a flaw I need to fix?