Stand Up for Your Damn Selves

Dear Internet,

This is a letter to all of you to stand up for your damn selves.

This is a letter to myself, along with all of you.

And this letter is especially intended for those of you who are accepting less than the best for yourselves...

...for those of you who are in those "friends with benefits" situations, but you want to be more than friends and the other party has said otherwise, but still continues to see you...

...for those of you in shitty relationships where he or she makes you feel bad about yourself, or doesn't support you in moving toward your goals...

...for those of you who get "maybes" instead of an absolute "Yes, I love you," or a "No, I don't."

Say what you want, impeccably. Do not mince words. You don't have to be unkind, but say it, get it out.

Think, "what's the best that could happen?" instead of "what's the worst?"

Because "the best" is always going to be whatever, in the long run, is right for you.

Don't exchange short-term fulfillment (a smile, a fuck, a date to your office Christmas party) for what you know is a long-term dead end ("better not to have one than to have one you wish you didn't").

Love hard, but refuse to deal with unrequited love. You're missing out on life, on people, on opportunities. 

You may find that it takes time and practice and work to realize you weren't demanding this respect for yourself all along. That you were accepting less than the best in exchange for your heart and soul.

You may find that your biggest obstacle is you. Your issues. So name them. Identify them. Get to the root and yank it out.

But above all, know that standing up for yourself--truly demanding the best for yourself--will be hard. 

You will likely cry, or be angry, or be hurt and confused. Your heart will yearn for the soothing salve of the short-term win.

Don't confuse the depth of your pain for the depth of your love.

Sometimes pain is pain. Sometimes things hurt more than others. Sometimes the two month relationship break-up hurts more than the two year one.

Life is weird, hearts are weird, the way we cope is weird and nuanced and often unpredictable.

Fight for what you want, but above all, fight for you.

Because no one will respect your heart if you don't. No one will protect your emotions if you don't. No one can say "yes" or "no" for you. 

You won't get answers unless you ask questions. The right questions. Don't make assumptions.

Don't take anything personally, good or bad. 

All this to say, Internet, is that you are worthy of good stuff...but you gotta believe that you are, and then you have to ask for it.

That is all.



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