Perfectly wonderful people are perfectly wonderful.
You may go on a date or five with one of these perfectly wonderful people and have a perfectly wonderful time.
But for whatever reason, this perfectly wonderful person isn't the right perfectly wonderful person for you.
You try to make it fit anyway because you think you should, or you've been single for a long time, or you're horny, or...all of the above. **raises hand**
While there's something to be said for Dan Savage's "Round Up to One" theory there's also the whole idea that you don't have to fall in love with every perfectly wonderful person you meet just because they're perfectly wonderful and single and you're perfectly wonderful and single.
Case in point:
I dated a man last fall who was perfectly wonderful. He was smart, successful, good looking and had the coolest laid-back vibe. He was a sweet single dad with full custody of his son, had traveled the world, and had great taste in music.
Yet as much as I enjoyed spending time with him, I could never conjure up anything more than platonic feelings for the dude.
Which, you know, is perfectly normal.
There are lots and lots of perfectly wonderful people out there. You don't have to fall in love with a perfectly wonderful person just because you have the availability or the capacity to do so.
Well meaning friends will push you to try to conjure up feelings or the desire to make it work. It's cool...they want you to be happy, to kick it with your pants parts with someone who they think is as cool as you are.
But sometimes--and I think this is more true as you proactively develop a satisfying single life--you'll meet people whom you like and admire and respect...and nope.
You might feel frustrated when you meet these perfectly wonderful people, especially if you're hoping to meet the next Mr/Ms Right, but see it, instead, as an opportunity.
- An opportunity to build a friendship...
- An opportunity to learn something new from someone else (or about yourself)...
- An opportunity to enjoy a dinner or outing that's outside your norm...
- An opportunity to relish the power of seeing a good thing and still saying "no"...
- An opportunity to potentially meet the other wonderful people this wonderful person knows.
Sometimes easier said than done in the wide world of competitive sports, er, love. But if you're a perfectly wonderful person, you'll figure it out.