People Aren't Magic

You want him to just "get it" but he doesn't.

You want her to know why you're mad without you having to say it (again).

But people aren't magic.


Sure, we can be intuitive at times, and some people have a gift for anticipating needs, wants and desires. 

Mostly when it comes to other people, though, we're a little clueless. We all work from our own frames of reference, recipes of unique experiences and truths and knowledge.

It's hard enough to know yourself well enough to figure out what you want or need at any given moment, let alone anyone else.

Pile onto THAT the fact that we haven't yet experienced everything life has to offer, so it's entirely possible that what we needed yesterday isn't the same thing we need today.

Yet we still expect to go through life with the people around us magically knowing how we're feeling, or anticipating the gestures that make us feel all gooshy inside, or saying the words we need hear to feel love, or uttering precisely the right apology to make us melt into a pile of lovemeat.


People aren't magic. 

He can't know you hold a special place in your heart for long dinners with just the two of you if you don't tell him.

She can't know that when you first started dating, your heart would flutter each time she texted during the work day just to say hi, and how now that she doesn't do that as much, it makes you feel less wanted.

He can't know the exact way you like to be touched unless you tell him the exact way you like to be touched. 

She can't know that it really, truly makes you upset when she is flippant about your work day unless you stop being cold and silent, and you know, stop expecting her to magically figure it out.

People aren't magic.

While there is, of course, beauty in discovering just who that human is that you enjoy sharing your time with, finding those sweet, tiny spots they didn't know they had, buying that gift and sharing it at just the right time, you also can't harbor resentment over things not given when you've never asked. 

Asking or communicating wants and needs well requires a certain level of vulnerability.

There's the chance someone will think you're weird that you really love non-romantic touch, or that flowers, to you, are not just romantic, but an actual symbol to you of his love and affection.

But if someone truly cares about you, they will want to love you in both the way they know how to give, and the way that you best receive love. 

So speak up, ask for what you want.

While people aren't magic, they do possess the ability to learn the magic that makes you tick.