So, last week I got all kinds of emotional on you all.
What. The. Hell.
I don't think I need to explain too much that that isn't super typical for me. While I think I've learned to get in touch with my emotions, I still try to keep some things under wraps. Last week...not so much.
But that's okay. Get up. Dust off. Move on. Watch a little reality TV to make yourself feel better. Done.
So, without going into detail, I was confronted with a tough situation that required some sort of action on my part. I had options, and I chose. I went with my gut and did what I thought was the Right Thing to do.
And oh...how I kind of hate my upbringing right now.
I was taught that when you do the Right Thing, you'll have peace. No questions. You'll have an inner sense of calm that only the Right Thing can bring you.
I'm most of the way there on my decision...but there's also a "What if...". I can't help but wonder (there I go, sounding all Carrie Bradshaw on you) if there was something I didn't consider, and if I could have figured out something else. A different decision. Something with more "win".
Again, I am mostly sure I did the Right Thing by trusting my gut in the moment. But yeah, there are times I question.
Maybe this is where hope lies? The hope that it'll all work out somehow in the end...the hope that the consequences of any action are never as extreme as we all imagine...the hope that doing the Right Thing is indeed Enough.
I suppose that's why living in the moment (the lesson learned in any improv class) is beautiful. Hope can be a present thing. Trusting your gut can be a constant state. The fallout of tomorrow can be prepared for today just by getting now--this moment--Right.
At least...I hope.