Please back the fuck off. I think I’ve learned enough life lessons for the week.
Yesterday, I got a kick in the pants from the Universe. I keep telling you all to trust your guts and use your noggins, and I wasn’t doing the same in my own life.
In fact, I was sitting almost idly by, allowing things to just happen to me, basking in a fuzzy glow of what I was calling “lucky circumstance”...
...and then BOOM. Universe.
I feel a little like I’ve been flayed alive and my insides are sitting open to the air. This is a good thing, I suppose, because it means I really have to examine what’s been going on inside. Here's what I found...
- I found a seed of bitterness.
- I found doubt in my own abilities.
- I found compromise of my own moral code.
- I found fear in the face of other people’s opinions.
Ugly, ugly stuff, friends. Stuff that needs to be brutally excised and burned and killed. And if you can’t figure out a way to do it for yourself, the mother fucking Universe will most definitely find a way to help you out...and much less gently than you'd imagine.
All this to say, I can’t tell you all to trust your guts if I refuse to trust my own. I can’t admonish those of you who seek my advice to “stop putting up with that bullshit” if I put up with bullshit. I can’t ask you to boldly break boundaries and push through life and glide past negativity if I’m huddling scared in a corner myself.
So yeah. The Universe gave me a wakeup call this week. I’ve decided to listen.