Ladies and gentlemen and pervs! I have wonderful news.
Hahaha, just kidding. You have to have sex to get pregnant.
Oh wait, please read that last line again while playing this:
I'm actually quite excited to let you know that someone I adore and who shall remain anonymous has graciously been sending me some of the funniest, heartbreaking and most insightful bits of prose and has agreed to let me publish them here on TNR for you all.
We bandied about the idea of calling her "The Queen of Broken Hearts" as a joke...and then it stuck.
And, well, why not? It's kind of on par with "The Naked Redhead." Though my guess is that she'll get less p0rn searches for her name.
So! Starting tomorrow, TQBH will have some regular installments for us on some of the lessons she's learned over the years from falling in and out of love.
It's good stuff, y'all. You'll like it.
In the meantime, she's has written a letter to you all as a means of introduction. Without further ado:
Hello! I’m The Queen of Broken Hearts, and I’m a writer. Or, rather, I like words a lot and I like ordering them on pages in ways that make me think, laugh or cry.
Or any combination of the three. Especially laugh/cry. I mean, you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen my laugh/cry face. It may or may not look something like this:
I started writing when… oh, nevermind. There are too many starts and stops to mention. I typically start right after a significant life moment, and stop when things are smooth sailing.
But! Writing is the only form of therapy I can afford, and so by reading this, I’m sure you’re assuming that you are all surrogate therapists. If I start getting any bills, please know that I will only pay you in hugs. And even more stories.
I write about anything from my beloved city to tips for landing a job on the first interview. But what really fascinates me is relationships – why some work and others don’t. How some people deal with heartache, how others never open themselves up to the possibility of it in the first place. I’ve seen many a relationship falter because of rash decisions made by either party, and I’ve seen some flourish inexplicably. I’ve been in and out of love. Many times.
But never, ever, have I given up hope.
I hope that through my own misadventures in love, I inspire others to never close their heart to anything. Even if it’s not love you’re after – it could be something you’re simply just scared of doing.
I mean, I go ape shit bananas at the thought of jumping out of a plane. I actually want to throw up right now just thinking about it. So I’m gonna do it. You can hold me to that.
(Well, don’t hold me to that TOO tightly. I mean, you can never predict the weather. And, I think I have something going on that day.)
Life is about taking risks. It’s about seeing every opportunity in front of you, and conveniently missing the obstacles standing in the way. It’s about training your brain to think, “What’s the BEST that could happen?” Not the worst.
I take that approach in everything I do. I jump every day – I may not land on solid ground, but it’s the movement that counts. And dammit, I have fun.
So join me in my misadventures of love and other things that are super scary and make me want to throw up just thinking about them.
Happy reading, happy loving.
The Queen of Broken Hearts
I've already bragged to her that TNR readers are LITERALLY the BEST readers on the Web. So! Do me a favor and say hi in the comments, wont'cha? :)