How to Stay Sane and Not Stab Yourself in the Face When Life Hands You Big Changes, Part One

Subtitle: Why a Job Change Can Simultaneously Make You Both Seriously, Giddily Happy and More Stressed Out than You've Ever Been in the History of Everdom

Why, hello. Don't you all just look super delicious today!

Was that an ill-concealed attempt to butter you all up? Why yes it was. I am not ashamed to admit that all-out flattery does wonders to break the ice when one just up and abandons one's friends for a long period of time.

I won't apologize. Who likes to read those blogs where every third post is like, "OMG! I totes forgot to blog you guys and I'm SO SORRY! I've just been SO BUSY!"

And I have been busy: gloriously, joyously, happily so. And sometimes when that happens, I've found that I just have to let some things go for the sake of my own sanity. And really, for the sake of yours.

I could have continued pounding away at the keys here during my busy-ness, but what you would have gotten were a whole lotta bone throwing posts.

Not with like, sexy bones from like, bone time, but like, with the kind you throw a dog when it just won't be quiet.

Uh, not that you all are dogs.

This is going horribly, isn't it? Wow, I'm the worst.

ANYWAY, if you've made it this far, I'd love to share with you what has been going on in old Red land. Today we'll talk about:

Being my own boss.

This fall, I finally transitioned to working 100% on my own from home, random coffee shops, and occasionally the library, where 3 pm marks the beginning of a parade of awkward middle school kids coming in to hang out away from home and attempting the worst kind of horrid, acne-filled, occasionally smelly and voice-cracking flirting with one another.

I love it.

It took me the better part of six months to tip the scales. And as busy as I thought I was balancing both my old worklife and my freelance/consulting life for the last year, I am busier than ever.

I love that part, too.

What I've found, however, is that being my own boss isn't the puppies, rainbows and kittens most entrepreneurs will tell you it is.

In fact, if some entrepreneur or self-employed person tells you, "I'm livin' the dream!" run far, far away.

Listen, it's not as if there aren't some dreams coming true for me by working for myself. I've never been much of a morning person, so to start my day on my own time, and work far into the night if I need to? Awesome. Sitting unshowered in my own home, with my dogs very contentedly snoozing beside me? Amazing. Taking random road trips and all I need to do my work away from home is my laptop and an Internet connection?


But what many of these people forget to mention is that until you're making consistent money, your whole perspective on life changes. You no longer get to wait for your bi-weekly paycheck so you can buy that pair of shoes you've been wanting.

Now you simply hope to be able to be paid in time to enjoy the simple things in life like food and shelter.

In fact, day three of working on my own, I had a full-on meltdown at my laptop, complete with gut wrenching sobs and snotty face because OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!

After I cleaned myself up and took a nap and then cried a little more (all things I am able to do now...when ever the hell I want! I'm so FREE!), I started writing a vitriolic tirade entitled:

The 6 Lies Entrepreneurs Tell You and Why It's Ruining Your Life and Work.

And then I felt a little better, mostly because I used the words "Tim Ferriss," "Quaaludes," "epic," and "living the dream" in the same sentence.

Pretty proud of myself for that one.

All that to say, I've been imagining this kind of life for years, and it's both exactly and completely different than I how imagined it might be.

And all of THAT ^ to say, in order for me to stay sane through this big transition, I've had to keep this here TNR part of my life a little more quiet.

But I'm here, I promise. And I so appreciate all of you who still reach out to me daily (or in other increments of time). There's more to come here, which I'll talk about later this week (Part Three!).

For now, though, to let you know what's coming tomorrow, part two has a working title of, "The Poster Child for The Single Lifestyle is a Big Fat Liar."


Until then,


Gratuitiously cute kitten picture found here.