How to Stay Sane and Not Stab Yourself in the Face When Life Hands You Big Changes, Part Two

Subtitled: Even the Poster Child for the Single Lifestyle Deserves a Little Romance

So yesterday in Part One, we talked about my first big life change, which was to transition to being my own boss.

Today, we'll talk about something a bit more sordid and tawdry, and why someone like me, who for the last year has been kind of railing against Love As We Know It, might find herself in a not-so-single-state any more.

We'll talk about why that's awesome.

(We'll also talk about why it's slightly terrifying...but all in due time.)

Anyway, I was pretty public about my recent venture back into online dating a few months ago. You can read all about that here. And a little bit here.

Oh, and then I talked about how great it is to be single.

[Side note: I still believe that being single can be an alternative lifestyle (it doesn't have to be a "holding pattern" for whenever you're "not single"). And I can honestly say I was happy and content being on my own. In fact, I really felt like the last part of this year has been one of my favorite times of my life...I've felt comfortable in my own skin and happy with the person I am. (Insert usual disclaimer about challenging oneself to continually learn and grow, blah, blah, blah.)]

And then, you know how life is funny sometimes? I got a message from a guy who had actually messaged me earlier in the year before I deactivated my OKCupid account, and I had ignored him. (Ha, yup.) His follow up email this time around was nice enough, but he ended up introducing himself twice...

...which, of course, I couldn't let go.

So I wrote back and teased him about it... which he responded with one of the most hilariously self-deprecating emails I've ever received...

...and two weeks later, we were meeting in person for the first time, and I was NERVOUS. Like, stupidly nervous. Like the kind of nervous where I'd be in the middle of a sentence, and then begin narrating my own inner dialogue. Not joking.

It was ridiculous.

To make a long story short, the poster child for The Single Lifestyle is no longer single.

Sorry, folks...and stalkers.

But I've gotta say, I'm loving what's happening with this relationship. For starters, I'm not only at a point in my life where I know I'd be completely okay being single again if that's the way things go, but I also feel like I'm in a relationship with an equal...just in a completely different way than I thought "equal" might mean.

It's an interesting situation to be in a relationship where I feel like I haven't lost my wholeness, drive, or life's mission/purpose as an individual...

...but to still be with someone who is fully supportive of who I am and what I do, who also challenges me to be better, to do better, to tap into the best part of myself...

...and in return, to be with someone who has his own stuff, who is passionate about his work, who is surprising in all the best ways (did I mention he thinks HE'S the funny one in the relationship? Puh-LEEZE).

I am learning a lot about communication (namely, that I'm not that great at it). I'm learning about what it means to shed erroneous notions of emotional self-protection and to allow myself to be vulnerable and open with someone (as I've tried to be with myself).

I think what is most telling to me is the way people have said to me lately, "You seem different lately. More happy, relaxed." In fact, before I told my sister I was dating someone, she knew. She mentioned to my mom that I seemed more comfortable in my own skin and that maybe I was dating someone who was "really good" to me.

Yeah, yeah, insert getting laid jokes here. Go ahead I'll give you a minute.

Got that out of your system? Great. Onward.

Anyway this is all so disgustingly sappy, I can't stand it. I'm sure most of you are hugging a toilet bowl right now, too, so I'll stop. There's not too much worse than having to listen to what I just did there. GROSS.

(I'm sure I'll have more to say in future posts about my aversion to following a traditional path with relationships...but that's for another day, so stay tuned, k?)

So there you have it, that's part two. Tomorrow? Well, I'll talk a little more about how I see my future on the Web, and my future with you all here.

Don't worry, I'll still be around. :)

Couple in the Snow picture found here.