Heterosexual vs. Homosexual: A Rant

It's been a minute since I've posted a snarky rant on here...but today you're in luck! I mean, if you think that's lucky. AND IT IS.

Anyway I posted this yesterday on Twitter, but haven't been able to get it out of my head.

I'm just tired of this kind of stuff (and full disclosure, I grew up with this kind of mindset and teaching). But I'm also starting to think that information like this is actually dangerous. It allows people to not only continue to bury their heads in the sand about important issues, but also breeds fear and hatred that seeps into every part of our lives. 

Anyway, here's just a brief, high level rant on the subject*.

Male and female together combined provide us a facet of who God is, a more holistic way than only one sex involved, so when sexual activity is engaged in we see a fuller range of who God is, it helps to balance out the two sexes.

OK, so does anyone else find this to be totally and utterly fucking weird? I’ll admit, I grew up with the teaching that when a (married, Christian) man and woman get down and do the dirty, they’re actually becoming “one” and mirror a “wholeness” that is God- or Christ-like. This isn’t an all together new idea…many creation stories or myths talk about the splitting or joining of the sexes, but seriously? Can you imagine how that fucks people up? “You better do the sex thing right, because if not, you’re not just bad in bed, but you’re making God look bad, too.”

Either way, I also think that this analogy is missing the point entirely, mostly because they’re thinking of “man” and “woman” as “penis” and “vagina” (male and female vs. masculine and feminine). Many practicing Christians/Protestants/western religion types think only of the equipment when approaching the issue of homosexuality (which is why I think there’s such an obsession with what happens in the bedroom with homosexual couples. "Where does the P go without a V?!? What if there are two V's!??!" Which is just weird. And also, kind of not the point).

One of the reasons that we see such a high incidence of measurable harm in male homosexual and female homosexual unions is we don’t have in those unions the balancing influence of the other sex.

I would like to see these “measures” please.

So in the case of male homosexual unions, you have a higher incidence of sexually transmitted infections, much lower rate of monogamy, because basically what you have is male sexuality ratcheted up without a taming influence of a woman in the process.

 Yes, because all women want sex less than all men. And all women can “tame” men by our demure and submissive spirits. Also, we will marry the men and turn off sex completely, because that is precisely the problem with women. We just don’t want sex. Ever. But men do! All the time! They will just bone anything that moves or has a heartbeat. Or not! Silly men.

Whereas for female homosexual relationships you see a higher incidence of mental illness issues and lower longevity of the relationship generally, I think because women place more value in terms of their self-worth, their identity, their security in a relationship of this sort.

Are we still doing this thing with “mental illness issues” and women for anything that doesn't fit a June Cleaver heteronormative worldview? Gross. Stop it.

Also, I’m really, really tired of the old, stale idea that “women want relationships, men want sex.” Can’t both men and women possess the desire for both? Or neither? Can’t a lady want to bone without emotion? Can’t a dude want to have sex for the emotional connection it provides? No? Oh, okay, well…mentally ill then.

And when two women put the same high demands on each other, without the balancing of a masculine influence, again it leads to shorter terms unions on average and higher mental health issues that are involved.

Ah yes. If only all lesbians could have the powerful influence of a man in their lives to really make sense of things and let them know that being with a man is the highest ideal for sex (and don't even get me started on the notion that lesbians "don't really have sex". Please.).

Again, though, this dude clearly doesn’t understand the difference between sex, gender and sexuality. Most long-term lesbian couples I know have a lovely balance of both masculine and feminine qualities. Some believe themselves to be neither masculine, nor feminine. And yet, they both have vaginas.

Mind. Blown.


*I realize there are many issues that could be expounded on here, including Christian views of sex, heterosexual sex as the baseline standard for "normal" (heteronormative), definitions of sex as an act, homosexuality as sin, the marginalization of women and homosexuals, sexism, homophobia, misunderstanding and miseducation of sex, gender and sexuality, gaslighting, poor use of research and statistics, a woman's "need" for masculine influence, among others. It just ain't that kind of blog. If you'd like to explore these issues more in depth, I recommend going here.