This past weekend, I paid a visit to the lovely Ohio State Fair. Originally, I just went to volunteer for Toastmasters and see this...
...the world's creepiest Butter Cow. I mean, of course, I live in Ohio, so what better way to commemorate dairy than to mold it into creamy bovine likeness? I can't think of a better way! Can you!?
Anyway, I decided to roam a little through the fairway to breathe in more of the goodness that is Ohio (not surprisingly, Ohio smells a lot like corndog). And, what should I stumble upon but this:
Whaaaat!? Deep fried BUCKEYES?!? Chocolate and gooey peanut butter and...Oh good lord, they sell FRIED TWINKIES.
So of course, I immediately thought of my Bucket List of Food. I could knock of #10, which just so happens to be a fried Twinkie. I had heard they were delicious and decadent and like nothing you'd ever tasted before.
I plunked down my four dollars (after I paid a $4 ATM fee to get cash) and waited in wet-mouthed anticipation for the warm, golden treat.
After a few minutes, they delivered this into my hands:
It smelled divine, in the way things that completely eff up your arteries smell divine (see also: French fries, onion rings, and fried pickles). I admired it for a few minutes while it cooled to an ingestible temperature. And then...then I took a bite.
Well, that wasn't so great. I'll try another.
Nope. That bite sucked too. Hmmm, maybe this time?
This, folks, is all the farther I made it. Don't be fooled...yes, it looks like it should be sugary and delicious, and it was indeed sugary, but delicious? No. Absolutely not. Vile, vile business, the fried Twinkie.
Honestly, I STILL feel gross from my three bites. I had to throw it away...four bucks (well, eight, if you include my ATM fee) in the hole.
Oh well. At least I got to see PLENTY of mullets. Score.