There's a certain bravery in fighting for what you want, in loudly proclaiming, "Mine."
There's also a certain bravery in ending the fight, in releasing fists tightly gripped, in saying, "No more."
Because sometimes, without knowing it, the fight for what you want becomes driven by fear...fear of loss, fear of loneliness, fear of failure, and most definitely the fear of answering the question, "Who am I without this fight?"
When you fight because of fear you forget to soothe yourself and instead look outward for validation that the fight is worth it.
Except the validation is never enough.
You will never be satisfied with the "good job," the "you're on the right track," or "of course I like you," because you will become a bottomless pit of neediness. You start keeping score, building mental checklists, even creating rituals because you feel if you can measure it, maybe then it's true.
Your external validations will give you comfort for a moment, yes...but only for a moment, and then it's back to counting.
Everything becomes small. Each moment is plotted onto an endless flow chart of "What does this mean?"
You then start to think that if you can just prove yourself one more time, show how much you deserve it, how hard you've worked, how wonderful you really are, how much you truly care, that it'll just happen. A light will go on in someone's eyes. A door will miraculously open. Your dream will come true.
The bad news is, you will never prove yourself from this place of fear. You will never get someone to see you as worthy (and you are, already) when you are screaming it in their face. You will never make an opportunity happen if you can't believe that you will be okay without it.
Be brave enough to let go. To sit in silence with just you. To validate yourself and believe in your own work. To allow someone--without prodding--to see your value if they so choose, knowing that even if they don't, you still have value.
Be brave. Let go. You are enough.